My name is Erin W. I come to Prodigals from Williamsburg, Virginia. I’d like to say I came to Winston-Salem for pleasure, but I can’t. I came here to seek long-term treatment for alcohol addiction. I had tried every other avenue to maintain my sobriety, but had met failure too many times. I choose to tell you about my experiences to help myself be honest about my past, but more importantly, to pass on hope to others with this wicked disease of addiction.

I grew up in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and there are a few things about my childhood worth noting. I seemed to have a problem with self-esteem from an early age. I was a sensitive child and was very much afraid of getting in trouble. I took ridicule from my peers way too seriously and would often let minor confrontations bother me for days on end. I have always paid too much attention to what others think, so keeping up appearances has always been a big deal to me. I am seven years behind my youngest brother; I was raised almost like an only child. I was never content being a child; I always wanted to be older and do grown-up things.

So, I guess it follows that as soon as I was able to drink alcohol, I jumped at the chance. Growing up, I watched my parents and later, my brothers, drink on a regular basis. I thought it was the "cool", grown-up thing to do. During my first year of drinking, I remember wanting to drink more and longer than my peers. Blackouts started very early on and my brother warned me of the family tendency toward addiction. I remember saying that I could "feel it". Knowing what I do now, I was headed straight for the road to addiction and was almost excited about it!

Richmond, Virginia became home while I attended Virginia Commonwealth University. I was a Marketing major and managed to be really good at having a very active social life while maintaining a B average. I was dating a guy older than myself who lived a couple hours outside of New York City. I experienced a lot of "firsts" with my friend and, of course, drugs and alcohol were a big part of our exciting life.

My post-college years were spent getting acquainted with the working life and I remember thinking that I could drink as much as I wanted. I was warned by people "life wasn’t just a big party anymore", but I paid them no mind. A pattern of everyday drinking and missing work developed during my twenties. I had a small group of friends that I interacted with, but I did quite a lot of drinking at home alone. I also developed an attitude of "if no one sees me, it will be okay". This false attitude stayed with me for all of my years of addiction.

After a failed marriage in ‘94, I moved to Williamsburg where I was working as a sales manager for a Virginia specialty foods company. This was an extremely stressful time for me, trying to adjust to single life again while working hard to stay on the fast track with my job. I was trying to present a picture of success but failing miserably. Finally, my drinking became way out of control and I lost my job.

Soon after that, I felt that I had fallen from grace. I was a mess emotionally, and didn’t have the courage or energy to jump back into life. After living a miserable existence for several months, I decided to move home with my family to try to get sober and back on the right track. In the meantime, one good thing happened— I met my current husband, Robb. It felt like a good thing, but since I was so unhappy with myself, I could not participate in a healthy relationship. I felt going home was the best for both of us. I spent a year with my family and was sober during that time. (I was not receptive to AA at the time.) I traveled the two hours to see Robb every possible chance I got away from my job as a specialty store manager. We were married in the fall of the year and I remained sober for 2 1/2 years. Life was very good for us during those years.

Just prior to my fortieth birthday I thought I deserved a drink. That was the beginning of a four-year struggle for recovery. During that time, I completed two thirty day inpatient treatment programs and was in and out of three different outpatient programs. I became familiar with the benefits of AA, and was open to new ideas, but still not willing to do whatever it took. I still thought that I could do it my way, which allowed for relapse, and therefore a miserable existence. Since I had received all the education in the world about the disease, I had no excuse for the multiple relapses. The shame and guilt I felt was enormous. My family was extremely distraught and couldn’t fathom what could be wrong with their otherwise bright, well-educated daughter/sister.

I had no excuses left; I was depressed to the point of not being able to get out of bed. My life was utterly pathetic. A series of medical expenses consisting of emergency room visits, therapy and treatment bills mounted so high that filing for bankruptcy was our only option. We filed for bankruptcy in the fall of 2004. My family decided to take matters in their own hands, because I wasn’t able to even function at a normal level, much less figure out what to do for myself. Through a friend, we found Prodigals. After a couple of phone calls and visits, my family told me about the program and what a great place it seemed to be. While the fifteenmonth time commitment seemed overwhelming, I knew it was the best and only option for me. My husband and I took about a week to process the idea and we celebrated his December birthday and an early Christmas. On December 14, 2004, I entered Prodigals Community.

I am now four months into the program and still have a long way to go. What I have realized while being here is that I am now ready to do whatever it takes. I am giving up the battle with recovery that I kept up for so long. I’ve accepted my alcoholism and I’m looking at the rest of my life as a much smoother journey.

I truly feel that Prodigals is a miracle for me. I’m taking the program very seriously and am grateful to have this time to work on myself – it’s a true gift. I am very lucky in that both my husband’s family and my own are backing me 100%. I look forward to the upcoming months, and my main objective is to become comfortable with myself. The most important objective I have set is to not leave here until "my insides match my outsides." Then, in my mind, I will have a glimpse of serenity.

Come join us to celebrate the courage and achievements of a remarkable young woman at Prodigals Com-munity’s Spring Step Up on Monday, May 2 at 7:00 p.m. We will have the opportunity to honor Latonya L.’s success in completing the 15-month New Salem program. Also being honored will be current New Salem residents receiving monthly awards. The Step Up will be held in the sanctuary at Prodigals Community, 1024 Waughtown Street. Love’s United Methodist Church will host a reception in the Fellowship Hall following the service.

Latonya was able to obtain a job while in the workout phase of her Senior stage and began full-time work immediately after completing New Salem in early January.

She has also completed the newly established three month post-graduate requirements in order to participate in a Step Up service. She has been living in an alumni aftercare house, meeting weekly with a staff member to discuss recovery and budget issues, attending 12 Step meetings and volunteering at New Salem.

During the service an offering will be received for the Scholarship Fund to provide academic scholarships to program graduates continuing their educations. Currently, a spring 2004 graduate is attending Salem College.

On August 27, Prodigals welcomed Ed Finertie to our community. Ed is a retired United Church of Christ minister who has chosen to spend his retirement time serving others through the United Church of Christ Partners in Service program. The Partners in Service program, offered through the Volunteer Ministries Office of the United Church of Christ, provides a variety of service opportunities in diverse settings throughout the continental U.S., Hawaii and Puerto Rico. The program is open to adults of all ages who are eager to serve.

Ed came to Prodigals Community after serving for two years as Pastor-at-Large in South Dakota for the Dakota Association of Indian churches, and as a camp director in Hawaii, through Partners in Service. Before beginning his volunteer service, Ed was a pastor at several UCC churches, most recently in Nebraska. While in Winston-Salem he attends First United Church of Christ and sings in the church choir.

Ed works primarily with the lawn care and painting crews, but has also spent time assessing the condition of Prodigals’ buildings and working with Prodigals’ residents to make the necessary repairs. All of us are grateful for his friendship and support. Patrick G., a senior at New Salem, summed it up for all of us when he said at a Monday worship service, " We always are grateful for everyone that comes each week to support us, but Ed is someone who has been here with us for a few months now, not because he needs to but because he wants to. He has worked with us in the yards and with us doing janitorial work. I truly appreciate everything he does and I am very grateful for Ed Finertie."

Through Ed’s generosity Prodigals Community received a number of beautiful "Star Quilts", handmade by the Lakota Sioux, which are available for purchase. A quilt would make a wonderful one-of-a-kind wedding or graduation gift. Ed has prepared an information sheet that explains the spirituality, symbolism and tradition of the quilts.

Ed has offered to present a short program about Native American spirituality and star quilts to church and other groups. If your group would be interested in having him speak, please contact Ed Finertie or Valerie von Isenburg at 785-0770.

We provide services primarily to an average of 18 residents. These residents generally represent a family network of 40-60 and sometimes as many as 100. More often than not, those left behind when residents enter our program struggle with loss, confusion, anger, and resentments as they attempt to provide support to their loved one in recovery. Further, families face a minimum of 15 months before their loved one can return home after completing strict program requirements. The first 60 days are the hardest as families are allowed minimum contact with their loved one.

For those who struggle to understand addiction (most of us) this can be harsh and limiting. In order to deal with these issues and to provide effective and loving support to our residents we established a Family Recovery Program in the early part of 2003. This program is proving to be effective as family members meet monthly to learn about the disease of addiction, with specific emphasis on enabling, codependency, change, and dysfunctional families. Under the direction of Educational Coordinator Conchita McIver, family members meet weekly for 2-3 hours to study and learn skills that enhance abilities to live with substance abuse addictions. The group uses videos, written materials, role-playing and group interaction as learning tools. Participants come from the Winston-Salem area and from as far as 200 miles away.

The fundamental basis for success in the program is much like success with recovery…attaining willingness and patience. Many of our family members are astounded to discover how they unwittingly contribute to the self-defeating behaviors of their loved ones. Almost all participants agree that an understanding of codependency is essential to providing a supportive and safe environment when they have contact with their loved one and the eventual return to the home. Program participants agree that the most striking and, in turn, most destructive aspect of codependency is the exclusive focus upon the addict as opposed to the focus upon taking care of self in meaningful ways.

With a little over two years experience with the Family Recovery Program we are beginning to see a positive correlation between skills learned in this program and positive family functioning and continued sobriety. The Family Recovery program is an integral part of our recovery program and we will continue to provide this opportunity to family members.

Spotlight on Volunteers

In October several talented musicians from our community came together for a Music Fest at New Salem to help raise funds to support Prodigals’ Family Recovery Support Program. The church was filled with enthusiastic music lovers who showed their support in a way that exceeded all dreams. Our deep appreciation goes out to the First Baptist Church Praise Team, Mt. Zion Baptist Church Praise Team, Redeemer Presbyterian Church’s "Shiloh", St. Paul United Methodist Church’s "Sanctified Three", Silas Creek Bluegrass Band, Trinity Moravian Logos Choir and the Prodigals Community Gospel Choir.

One of the needs of the Recovery Support program is to have a Resource Library with helpful materials on addiction and recovery, and sources for support. Early in April a group of students from Wake Forest University cleared out a room off Prodigals’ sanctuary for the Resource Center. The students were part of two groups of students who came to New Salem from Wake Forest’s WSUP (Winston-Salem Urban Plunge), a program to get students more involved in agencies in Winston-Salem. The other group of students brought and prepared dinner for the residents. We are very grateful for all the students at Wake Forest University who volunteer at Prodigals: WSUP, Living Parables, One Accord, and SPARC. Prodigals Community would not be able to provide the level of services offered to New Salem residents without the volunteer support of many people in our community.